Christmas and Mary...

I’m sitting at the kitchen table drinking some hot apple cider. (not the brand I like but what I can find around here) We just spent the weekend in Dickenson for Mike’s Christmas party! They put us up in a hotel for Saturday night! It was nice to be able to just walk down the hall when things were over! I now have 17 days left of this pregnancy. I’m kinda worried I might go early but it’s nothing I can control.  It’s Christmas and this is certainly not how I envisioned it this year! I pictured our fire roaring in the fireplace, a Christmas tree of lights and kid’s decorations (popcorn strings and paper rings), gifts under the tree, the house smelling of pine and cinnamon, trees covered in snow, and my naivety scene set up. None of that is here and it makes me sad but it’s all good because we are all together and we are all so excited to meet our new little guy. He must know I’m thinking of him because he’s starting to squirm all around.

Last night I had one of those bad moments of poor me and I hate going through all of this and I have no control. I read an article/devo talking about Mary and her giving birth to Jesus. For some reason this year I feel like I so can relate to Mary. I don’t really have my own home and I’m far away from home and about to give birth.  She is on a journey pregnant full of so many emotions and so uncertain about her own future. I’m sure Mary had a lot more grace than I do. I picture myself in her shoes thinking “really Joseph all you could find is a stable that is gross and dirty and full of animals… you want me to put the baby in that thing… a trough…. I don’t think so” Somehow I don’t think she responded that way but that’s somewhat how I would have felt. I feel like my way should be the right way and nothing is going right in my mind… I want my own home to decorate, my own tea kettle, and my own plan. Boy that’s a lot of “my”! Funny how we realize this and it humbles us pretty quickly. It’s not about any of those materials things. It’s about our Savior! So as Christmas draws near and my due date does also I turn my mind on what I’m thankful for and what God has already given us. So if I don’t have a house or any pine smell this year it’s all ok. I know God has His hand in it all! He knows what we all need in the right time! Doesn’t mean it’s all good but I know to trust my Heavenly Father above. Pray for me as the numbers go down and that I have patience with everyone and our situation out here. It at times can be very overwhelming and I need to be reminded often of what is real in this life. Like the fact that my son is walking around with his tongue out because he has more teeth coming in, my baby is squirming around letting himself be known in my world, and I should really get some cookies made!

My mom sent me this this morning (she does this once a month or so and I love waking up knowing I'm covered in prayer) and it was kinda neat to see how it coincided with what I read the night before. Thank you mom! I love you!!

"Dear Jesus, Be near a mother ready to give birth with humble dwelling and humble heart, we ask for your Spirit to touch her, just as you did with Mary, many many yrs. ago! Place your hand near her, and help her to feel your touch. We ask that You give "the peace that passeth understanding". When she is weary, give her strength! When she feels hopeless, give her faith to trust! More than we can ever know, Your love is everlasting and unchanging! We pray for Mike and John! Help them to feel the mighty hand of our Redeemer as they go about their day! Lord, we ask for a hedge of pretection around this family each day. Keep them in your arms. Hold them close and don't let go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Dad and I love you so much!!!!

Praying and hoping you all are having a great Christmas! Miss you all a lot and think of you  a lot! Sorry no pictures gotta take more i know!!